English Channel to be filled in!

In a move to encourage visitors from Europe to visit England plans have just been announced to fill in the English Channel to enable road traffic to drive directly from Europe into the country.

In a statement released by the Ministry of Tourism it was announced that ‘The English Channel has long been a barrier to the motorist, both in England and in Europe. After a long meeting with the European Tourist Society, based in Paris, France, it was agreed that the easiest and cheapest method to assist the motorist would be to fill in the gap between England and France’

It is thought the spiralling costs of running the Channel Tunnel persuaded both parties that this would be the best option to choose for both sides. The statement continued to say ‘Shipping will not be affected as there will be two canals built, with bridges spanning both of them, to enable any sized shipping vessel to navigate between the North Sea and the Atlantic Ocean via the south of England.

The project will also be a boost to the property market in the south-east of England and the north-west of France.

A spokesman for the Keep England English Group, James Smithys-Saint-Hornet, however gave the following warning to the project, “This will just make it far easier for anyone to come into the country. Now, instead of trying to hide themselves in Lorries and cars they’ll be able to walk it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no racist, I love a curry as much as anyone, but there just isn’t room for all these people who keep coming over, no work for them either”.

It must be noted here that Mr Smithys-Saint-Hornet’s opinion in no way reflects those of The Gullible Times or its staff.

Workers for P&O and other ferry operators are meeting to discuss a course of action tomorrow.

Work is expected to start after the London Olympics in 2012.

Story by Dennis Birdcamp.