England’s drivers to drive on the right.

Following the announcement to fill in the English Channel (See entry English Channel to be filled in!) and in a move to come into line with other EEC countries England’s drivers will be instructed to drive on the right side of the road. This rule will come in to force sometime during November 2013.

However, drivers in Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales will STILL continue to drive on the LEFT!

This has caused many drivers associations to condemn the government’s plans as ‘An accident waiting to happen’. “What a stupid rule, it’s just an accident waiting to happen”, said David Mintyburg from the RAC. He continued, “What the government think they’re doing is anyone’s guess, it’s just ludicrous, idiotic, I can’t believe this is going to happen”.

It must be noted here that Mr Mintyburg’s opinion in no way reflects those of The Gullible Times or its staff.

A government spokesman, Geoff Haffendon, stated the following; “We in the government feel it is our duty to do what we can to make Britain a safer place to live and to be a more enjoyable experience for visitors to these shores. Part of that commitment is to do something about the high number of road incidents. It is a well known fact that anyone coming from Europe currently finds driving on the ‘wrong’ side of the road awkward and unnecessary, so we are doing something to address the issue. Once the English Channel has been filled in we want to encourage visitors to England and this is one way to make them feel more welcome”. When asked about the other home nations not taking part in the instruction Mr Haffendon refused to comment.

The Irish Republic announced that they had no need to join in with the plan as, and I quote, “All our drivers drive in the middle of the road anyway”.

Car manufacturers have welcomed the move.

Story by Dennis Birdcamp.